Writing your own vows isn’t the easiest route to take, but it adds such a personal, sentimental touch to your ceremony. It’s not about creating an intricate Shakespearean sonnet, rather a chance to let your true feelings match your words in a simple way. The only tough part about writing your own vows is making sure you and your fiancé are on the same page, haha literally!, which is why we decided to share a few much needed tips for your memorable day.
- Stay True to Yourself
Don’t put on a fairytale façade just to impress the audience. These words are for your beloved, so act like your usual self…whether that means funny, witty, sassy, or full of emotion!
- Look for Inspiration
This is the one time you have an excuse to read romantic poetry or listen to sappy music. Search Pinterest for quotes or other personalized wedding vows. There are so many ways to go about writing your own vows, so it’s important to find inspiration and figure out which style fits you.
- A Stanza Not a Novel
Creating your own wedding vows needs to be short and to the point. Let’s be honest, people love weddings mainly because of the reception afterwards. Keep the vows a few stanzas in length, no need to write a book about your first date, first kiss, engagement and everything in between.
- Don’t Promise the Sun
Don’t make promises you can’t keep… big or small. For instance, don’t vow to do all the dirty laundry or promise to always have patience. That’ll get old super fast and one day you may ditch the laundry and your patience at the same time. Focus on the uniqueness of each other. Examples:
“I’ll do my best to always show love and patience.”
“I will strive to make known in your heart my love for you daily.”
“I look forward to staying silly and fun and helping you chase your dreams.”
- Determine your Style
It can be tricky to figure out how you want to write your vows. But it’s not as hard as it seems. There are so many options to choose from, or you can go with no style at all. Decide whether you and your fiancé want to use phrases such as “I will” versus “I promise” or both. One of our writers and her husband actually wrote their own vows (pictured). They choose to coordinate with each other and determine how they would write their vows, without giving anything away. They used “I will” and made sure to keep the vows between 15-25 lines. No one wants one person to say two sentences while the other reads a book. They also choose to end with the same tag line, “And I will forever choose you.”. It was super cute and sentimental. BUT you can also just write your own vows without coordinating- mysterious but fun!
- Write it Down
No need to memorize. This isn’t a test, and your mind may be in a million places come wedding day. The last thing you want to do is forget your vows. Write it all down and keep them with you during the ceremony. Opt for a special leather journal, a cute card, or a rustic piece of parchment paper. A fun way is to have a calligrapher write your vows. This will create aesthetic vow books and also create gorgeous photos. Definitely make sure they are functional though…try taping in your typed out vows and removing them after the ceremony for pictures of the hand-written pages.
- Practice and Take it Slow
Practice, so that you’re comfortable with the rhythm of your vows. Don’t stress and try to memorize or aim for a theatrical performance. Just calmly read, reread, and read aloud just to get the hang of it. Practice will prepare you for the real wedding, so that you can relax and be yourself. Laugh when you want, cry when you want!
- Repurpose your Vows
Transform your vows into something you can use as a keepsake. Our favorite idea is having a calligrapher write them out in a journal and displaying it on a coffee table or nightstand. You could also have them written on parchment paper and framed to display in your home.